I just had the best morning with my local plumber and may have a new bestie. I now live in Duluth, MN which is in the northern mid-west. Up here the folks are friendly and don't mind the cold.
When we were looking at houses to buy in Duluth I realized that none of the houses we looked at had a garbage disposal and since I have had a disposal my entire existence I deemed it necessary to everyday life, therefore, I called a plumber to come install one that I purchased at the local Menards.
This gentleman was quite friendly as all Duluthians are and got right down to the job of installing the disposal. This is our conversation:
Me: So I'm curious as to why no one in Duluth has a disposal?
Plumber: Well golly I wouldn't have one. You just put things down there that ya shouldn't.
Me: (I'm thinking like what besides scraped off food from dishes? A fish, wildlife, limbs after watching the show Fargo. What?)
Isn't a disposal for putting things down that you scrape off your dishes so it can be chopped up and washed down the drain?
Plumber: Oh geez you'd think so but I had one lady that put all sorts of stuff down (down is pronounced more like doe-nn) her disposal...so I was out a visiting her once a month fixing that darn disposal and drain.
Me: Really!
Plumber: Yep! You should never be putting big things down there.
Me Thinking: (What big things do people put down there. The hole to put stuff into is only yay big)
Plumber: And never put carrot peels and potato peels and things that don't chop up down there. And don't put meats down there ever and especially not grease. And don't put rinds down the thing like watermelons and cantaloupe and stuff like that. Holy Cow (pronounce with a clipped Holy and Caa-w) there's lots of stuff that doesn't need to be going down the darn disposal.
Me: OK then. I won't do that.
Plumber: And don't ever run hot water down that there disposal cause then it causes the vegetable and fruits to mush up and then they get stuck in the drains. Geez, one time a woman put so many carrot peels down the disposal when she was having some type of religious party at her house, something like a bar mitzvah or some sort of religious thing, and she peeled so many carrots and stuffed them down the disposal that I had to take her whole sewer down in her basement! For cryin' out loud!
Me: That doesn't sound good.
Plumber: It was bad. I spent a few day's fixing it dontcha know!
Me: Well I'll remember those tips.
Plumber: If ya don't you'll just be calling me to come back!
Me:Right. So are you from here?
Plumber: Mostly
Me thinking: Huh?
Plumber: I don't much like the heat. It gets 80 degrees and I don't like to go out in it. I won't even go the the cities ya know.
Me: Do you fish? (The minute this comes out my yapper I'm thinking to myself, "Oh my gosh! Who would've thought I'd be living in Duluth (pronounced up here as Da-loot) talking to a plumber who is putting my first Duluth disposal in my house and I'm asking him if he fishes? I need an intervention ASAP!")
Plumber: Not so much anymore. I got the lime from camping and fishing.
Me: You've got what?
Plumber: The lime.
Me: I'm not sure but what that is exactly?
Plumber: Oh geez! You know that disease you get from ticks. The lime gave me all sorts of trouble. It made one foot swell up and it ruined my back for 4 months and it made me real sick. Then after it went away it just came right back a year later. The doctors said, "This isn't the lime. This is just something else." and I told them my foot doesn't just swell up like a balloon for no reason. You know those doctors just throw the antibiotics at you if you even say you saw a tick on you!
Me: So I guess you don't fish or camp any more.
Plumber: Not so much. If I had my druthers I'd just a soon throw together a little barbecue (meaning a sloppy Joe) and watch the hockey (pronounced more like hackey) match.
Me: That sounds nice. (That sounds nice? What? I need help!) Does your wife mind when you watch hockey?
Plumber: Oh back in the 80's I bought a farm. My wife and I lived there for a bit but then she decided she didn't like the farm and then she decided she didn't like me either. Lost my job, my farm and my wife but I just started over.
Me: Wow! That had to have been hard.
Plumber: It was tough tomatas but it's all good now.
Me: Thanks for your help.
Plumber: You betcha! Have a nice day and call if you see any leaks. Don't put any stuff you shouldn't down that there disposal!"
Me: Okey dokey!
Plumber: Real good then! Have a good day!
And the plumber was gone. I realized as he left that it was me who said, "Okey Dokey!" Well when in Daloot do as the Dalootians do!
Bonus: No plumber crack spotted! This is one plumber that I will call on again!
