Pedicures, Faulty Park Assist and Bladders

Pedicure toes

For mothers day my daughter Sid, daughter-in-law Amy and I decided it would be fun to go get a pedicure.  I drove that night to our pedicures.  After our pedicures we grabbed a snippet of ice cream and decided to head home.  We were just getting into the car when Amy noticed that my car had parking assist.  Parking assist is where you push a button on the dash and the car will park for you.  Amy loves cars.  She knows a lot about them and she had encouraged me to buy the car that I was currently driving.  This is the conversation that started:

Amy:  No way!  You have parking assist?

Me: Yes!  It works too!  I've tried it with Madisyn (another daughter and she was driving)

Amy: Do you use it?

Me:  No because I forget I have it.   I’ll show you how it works.

The magical Park assist button

I started explaining as I demonstrated how great the park assist works.   

"First you have to push the "P on" button to turn it on and then decide if you are going to parallel park or perpendicular park.  I am turning on the perpendicular park.  You put 'er' in drive and this car will sense when you are by a parking spot.  Then you just let go of the wheel and the car parks for you."

I did all of these things about 17 times.  I might not have been following correct parking procedures since Madisyn did it for me before.  

Now picture this.....I was in the front with Amy.  Sid was in the back alone because she did not call "Shotgun! No battle".  We started cruising the parking lot, waiting for the car to tell us that a spot was found where the car would park assist us.  The three of us went up and down the parking lot several times. I had to keep stopping the car and back up to try again.  The car would not sense a spot for us to park in.  I noticed a couple eating their ice-cream and watching us like we should be put in a home or something. 

Finally our back seat driver, Sid, said, “Mom!  You don't know how to park assist.”  Right then the park assist dinged and it said on the dash that a parking place had been sensed.  I told Sid  that yes I do know how to park assist and to hold her horses and HANG ON  (like we were on an amusement park ride).  I let go of the steering wheel and the car went forward a bit then started backing.  I’m was getting all cocky and said, “See! This is how it works.  It’s amazing!  Look at the wheel turn all by itself and the car just goes right into the spot." 

Sid and Amy thinking they should wear helmets when
riding with me!

Right then Sid and Amy both screamed......STOP!   I hit the breaks and said in a very snarky and loud voice.......what?  I looked back and realized that we stopped just in the nick of time, avoiding parking on the cable, internet and power boxes of the pedicure place.  My car had park assisted us into a flower bed with cable and internet boxes.

Sid: Mom what are you doing?

Me: I thought it was parking us.

Amy: We just about took out the cable and power boxes and whatever those other boxes are in the bushes.

Sid: Right?

Me: I think we need to return this to the factory.  It's faulty. 

Sid:  Let’s go home.  You can do this later.  I’m getting car sick.

Me: I think because it’s dark outside, the car camera thinks the boxes are parking spots. Lets try this again over in that other area where there aren't any boxes or bushes.

Sid: Why?

I headed to the other end of the parking area.  The car just could not sense the parking spaces. Sid started to beg to go home but I was all powerful because I was driving and for some reason I wanted to prove that the parking assist worked.

Stop the madness

After driving past a parking spot about 9 times, the car finally dinged because it found a spot to park. I put 'er' into drive and let go of the wheel.   We were heading straight for a car on one side of the parking spot. All of a sudden Amy yelled out,  "Jesus Take the Wheel!”  

????????????????????????????????

I guess Amy felt that we needed a higher power to get the car parked.  I will say that Jesus did NOT take the wheel but I did.  I also hit the brakes.  We avoided a collision for the second time.  When the car was safely stopped, all of us looked at each other as the soft yet snippy voice of Sid from the back seat said, "Amy, that would never work.  You're a sinner."  We laughed until we cried and Sid wet her pants.  Then we headed home.   This was the conversation:

Me:  Amy, where did the "Jesus, take the wheel come from?"
Amy:  It just came to me plus it's a country western song.
Sid:  Guys!  I really wet my pants.
Me:  Sid you need to get that fixed.  
Amy:  I guess Jesus didn't take the wheel
Sid:  Like I said Amy,  you're a sinner.

If you want to hear the song that did not work for us, click on the link below:

https://youtu.be/lydBPm2KRaU

I guess I’ll have to read the owners manual to use park assist or I could take the car back to the factory?  Maybe they could fix Sid's faulty bladder at the same time.  

Sid and Amy high 5-ing because they made it home safely