Viewings, morticians, caskets and maybe urns.

This is one of my favorite holiday seasons.  I love Halloween.  I have always loved the morbid things of this planet.  My husband says that I'm sick and twisted but I take that as a compliment.  I think he's just saying that I'm unique.

I am most fascinated by viewings.  There many reasons why each of us attend viewings but lets be honest, all of us go to a viewing to "view" the deceased.....thus the name "VIEWING". 

I've seen people laid out at a viewing that look better dead than alive.  Here's my point.  If a mortician can make a person look that good when they are dead then he's the mortician for me. 

It's an art making a dead person look good. 

We will all die at some point and if you have a bunch of people viewing you, then you want to look your best.   At a viewing you get more attention and more people looking at you than any other time in your life or death (including your birthday), therefore, we should all want to look our best.  Right?

This is why we must all go to viewings with two things in mind.  First, to mourn the desceased, of course, and second to research the viewee.   You should be studying their makeup, hair, clothing, casket and orifices just to see how well they are done.  I have my own personal preference for a mortician.  He does a fabulous job.  I'm hoping he can make me look better dead than alive.  (This might not be that hard to do by the time I die)

We are all going to end up on the slab so why not pick the best mortician out there.  The only way you are going to know the mortician for the job is to study their work. 

As for caskets, your family can pick from quite a selection of different colors, wood, finishes, and even sizes.

My thinking is, we are all buried in the dirt and no one can remember your casket so this is the place to cut costs.  Everyone on the other hand will remember if you don't look your best in the casket so splurge on the mortician.

Now if you can't look good dead and don't be mistaken,  a mortician is not a magician, then its time to consider the alternative......cremation. 

Of course I googled this subject and found out that there are even covers for cremation boxes.  I don't agree with cremation box covers. Those will be burned in the fire.  Save your money and buy a good looking urn for the mantle.

There are great selections for urns.

I want a really good urn.

So family, crack open those moth eaten wallets and spring for a good urn to put me in,  (only if the mortician can't make me look really good when I'm dead).  The next question is....who the lucky person that gets me and my urn for their mantle?

I would also like to have a special limo to transport me and my casket or urn.  I would like it to have a snazzy red interior since red is my favorite color. 

Lastly, just so you are aware, there are even special casket/urn things to put your desceased pets into when they die.  Of course, I have headstones in my back yard for my beloved pets but I have never purchased a special pet casket. 

When my daughter's pet rat, Sally died (Roger, our weiner dog played with Sally and was a little too rough), I didn't know where to put her so I put her on the armour.

This is desceased Sally on the amour.  I just put her there

until my daughter came home from school to attend the viewing, funeral and burial of Sally. 

That day a pet casket like the one shown above, would have come in very handy.

I bet you will now attend viewings with an eye to the orifaces, makeup and hair.  It's in your best interest.

I'm off now to decorate my family room like a funeral parlor.  I just love viewings!