Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Get Giddy, Be Perky, Don't Daffy

Some people find themselves a bit melancholy knowing that the lazy days of summer are almost over. I, on the other hand, find myself starting to perk right up.  Deep down inside I feel downright giddy.  End of summer = Back to school = Giddiness.   


I mean lets think about this.  Summer can be rough. Us moms are fully aware that we have just spent about 90 hot days of summer with kids in our personal space 24/7.  In the summer I run the  "Taylor 24 hour a day food buffet". It's better than Vegas around here.  Of course it's all you can eat ya know.   Because of this buffet I'm constantly preparing food, putting food away and cleaning up from the feeding frenzies of summer.  One morning this summer I got up to the aftermath of one of the feeding frenzies.  There were 2 huge T-bones stripped clean, sitting on the counter laying in a pile of 20 plus empty burger boxes from McD's, remnants of fries, ketchup packets, numerous drink cups and hundreds Reeses peanut butter cup wrappers.  I stood there staring when my 18 year old son, who will be a senior, came in and I quietly asked, "What happened in here?  He replied, "Me and my friends just couldn't afford to get hungry.  It's 2 a day's you know."   (That's a football practice twice a day)


Smells from kids are worse in the summer.  Heat drives kids crazy and makes kids want to be inside by their mom more where we can smell their smells even better.  Kid's get up at the crack of noon in the summer, then rev up to 100% by 3 in the afternoon and stay up driving us nuts until well after midnight (and every parent knows that NOTHING good ever happens after midnight). 


My home also becomes a "hang out".  I have worked this math equation over in my mind a bunch of times and it just doesn't figure.  It's like a little math story problem and I challenge any math professor to work this one out......If there are 30 kids (one kid is mine) at my house for 18 hours a day and then the 29 kids go home to sleep (or whatever) for 8 hours then shouldn't I have 29 day's when my kids are at the other 29 kids houses for 18 hours a day thus giving me a month off?  The answer is simple........No.   All 29 kids will return to my house the following day for 18 hours.  The thing is, is that if you talked to the other 29 kids parents they have the same thing going on at their houses.  Do kid's have multiple stinking, eating bodies, roaming the hood and bugging moms all summer?   


So after hearing my take on summer I feel I need to dwell more on the positive and that's the fact that every summer ends with a happy ending and that ending is THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!


The first day of school has always been one of the most exciting days of my year.  I love it like I love Christmas.


I'm the mom skipping down the school supply isle, like the ad on TV, while singing "It's the most wonderful time of the year"  as I  click my heals together behind my cart.  I love school supplies and I love smelling them.  This time of year you will find me secretly sniffing new pencils.  It is the elixir of my end of summer life.
My jump from the top stair as I begin.
the perfect Daffy. You
can see my forward lean is just not right.


I love the first day of school so much that one year when my twins (the last of 8 kids) went to their first day of Kindergarten, I got so excited that I ran out of the school and jumped off of the front steps. 


In a moment of pure joy I lost my head, forgot I wasn't 19 anymore and jumped into the air to perform the perfect daffy (that's where you kick both legs to the side).  My height on the jump was excellent, my execution of the daffy was a 10.  My landing, I didn't nail.  I must have thought I had gotten a lot more air than I did and my forward tilt was off kilter. I looked down at my landing spot just in time to see my right knee smack into the cement. Apparently I was still performing my daffy when I landed.  This does not make for the perfect landing.


I went to stand up and felt a tich woozy and decided that it was best I sit down for a bit.  Now not wanting to be a wuss, I sat on some concrete in the front of the school and laughed with friends about my mishap while trying not to spew.

Me being a sport for the camera
I sat there laughing about my fall when I started feeling tingly and then cold and sweaty.  I decided it best to tip over onto the concrete for a minute.  I get this feeling when I break body parts not when I bruise body parts.


Note my pasty white pallor


After allowing a minute for blood to flow back into my brain, I decided it was best to head home.  I still wasn't feeling normal but a crowd was gathering round, asking questions so I decided to cross the street. I hobbled across the crosswalk and was realizing it wasn't so easy to walk when next thing I know I'm seeing tunnels and down I went on a neighbors lawn.




 This picture is real and I'm trying to smile, ever the sport
At this point I realize I don't think I'm going to get home on my own (which is about 100 yards around the corner) so I called my husband and said that I had a bit of an accident (I could hear his mind saying, So what's new) and that I needed assistance getting home.  


Next thing I know, my youngest son is standing over me and telling me, "Daddy sent me to bring you home.   What's wrong?"


 

Now not to point out the obvious but really?  This little kid is supposed to help me home?  If I lean on him I could squish him like a bug. I practically just gave birth to this child.  Will you just look at his toothpick sized legs.    

Needless to say I finished hobbling home with the support an infant while my husband patiently waited my arrival. 

Two weeks later when I realized that I just couldn't really bend my knee  I went in for surgery to  fix my knee.  I especially loved the part of surgery when the Dr's ask you to tell them exactly how you hurt yourself.

I guess the lesson to be learned here is get giddy, be perky, don't daffy.

First day of school is tomorrow. I will take my annual first day of school pictures.  I will be joyful and I will celebrate but if I jump off anything it will be from the rug on the hardwood floor to the hardwood floor.  I hope I land it.
Close up of my injury.
The white part is most likely bone!