Amazing Fluidity of Movement

Todays topic is a bit icky and not one that many people want to discuss, however, it is the subject of much entertainment within our family circle and entertaining for anyone who is willing to listen.   Please read to the end if you are able.  It'll be worth it.

The act of vomiting has many different names.  At our house we use all sorts of various names......hurl, spew, barf, puke, heave, yak, ........to describe this disgusting act.

In our family, we have as many different styles of hurling as we have names. 


Let me start with my husband Mickey.  He is what I would call an Oscar winning barfer.  He is very dramatic.  First he starts by coughing loudly.  Everything he does when he spews is loud.  Then he makes a "Hu Ahh" sound.  (Much like the sound army guys make)  This can actually be heard outside of our house.  I have had this verified by family members and neighbors who typically ask,  "What is that sound coming from your basement?"  The second question is always,  "Is he going to be OK or do we need to dial 911?"

I will say that I am a silent spewer.  Nothing to talk about here.

I have a daughter, Jensine,  that actually talks herself through her hurls.  She will heave once then say,  "Wow that was icky".  Heave again and say, "I sure didn't like that."  Heave again and say, "Can I be done yet."  And on it goes.

One of my daughters, Madisyn got so sick once that she couldn't pull herself up off of the bathroom floor to go to her bedroom so she had to have her fiance Max, drag her into her bedroom. He stayed right by her side and I knew then that he was the one for her since it didn't seem to bother him in the least when she told him she would need some new underwears after that last bout of spewing.  

I saved the best and most entertaining yakker for last.   


My son Ty could win an award for spewing style.  If there were a panel of judges watching him he would receive all 10's.  He has made barfing into an art form.

Ty is 23 now and has never changed his spewing technique thus the perfection of his movements.

The following is my description of Tyler's performance from start to finish.

First, he will find me no matter where I am and announce his upcoming hurl.  He will tell me that he is dying and needs an ambulance before it is too late.


I ignore his need for 911 and just follow him, knowing the best is yet to come.  

He then trots (taking ever so quick and tiny steps) into the bathroom.  

He leans over the toilet with a perfect bend at the waist.  He moans and oh so gradually begins to raise up on tippy toes until he is in a full point.  

Slowly, with amazing fluidity of movement, he will raise his arms straight out from his sides so they are perfectly horizontal to the floor. 

He pauses.......


With his arms extended to perfection, he will begin to flap his hands from the wrists without any movement from his arms at all.   He is a master in action.  


He will flap faster and faster until you actually think he will levitate.  


The big finale.......he hurls.


At this point, each action mentioned above will slowly cease, starting from the last and ending with the first action as his heels slowly rest back onto the floor and he straightens back up at the waist.


It is such an amazing thing to see that you are overwhelmed with the feeling of wanting to applaud his performance.


After a performance like that, nothing else can be said.


The End.