The Seat Police

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you feel like you are either on the show Punked or in a Saturday Night Live skit?

Well I found myself in just such a situation this past Saturday.

Mickey and I decided to go to a movie Saturday afternoon.  We purchased our tickets and popcorn and headed toward theater 11 where our particular movie was playing.  

When we entered the theater and headed towards the row where our seats were located, (keep in mind that seats at movies are now assigned), we both noticed that there were only about 4 other people in the whole place.  We sat down in two seats on the row where our assigned seats were but not in our EXACT seats.   

The two of us sat there watching the previews, eating the popcorn we purchased and drinking the two drinks we smuggled in under my coat.  We were happy as clams when we saw a man and his wife, both in about their late fifties, walking towards us, down the row we were sitting on.  This man was trying to study his tickets while walking in the dark and finally stopped in front of the seat that was right next to Mickey.  

He then said, "Yep, our seats are numbers 14 and 15 right here on this row which is H."

Mickey and I stared up at him from our popcorn thinking, "Take a seat already."

So then the guy starts counting the numbers on the fronts of the seats and says,  "8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, yep here's 14, and 15 and the guy points right at us.  

I turned around looking to see if the theater had filled up with people in the past 2 minutes and no, there were still just the four other people in the place.  

There was not one human being within 3 rows of us and no one else on our 25 chair row so Mickey and I did the thing we do best............we just sat there looking dumb and wondering why he wouldn't just sit his arse in one of the other 150 available seats.  

This guy had his mind made up.  He wanted seats 14 and 15 on row H because they were his assigned seats and he owned them for the next hour and a half.  

He kept looking at us and coveting our seats so finally Mickey said, "Would you like us to move down a couple seats?"  

The seat police replied by saying, "uh yeah cause those are my seats." (are ya sure?)

I sighed the loudest, most put out sounding sigh I could produce and picked  up my contraband diet coke and popcorn and plopped myself down row H into a seat just a few down the row.

My husband Mickey decided it was not far enough away from "Mr Seat Police" so he made me get up and move myself and my movie treats all the way down the row.


After Mickey seated himself next to me and we started munching again, I whispered to him,  "Hey Mickey, was that guy serious?"


Mickey whispered back, "Yes."


I whispered back into his earhole, "That guy must work for the Federal Government."  


He whispered back, "Probably."


Loved the show anyway.