Ice Holes

My family does a lot of fishing.  They love to fly fish, deep sea fish, float tube, ice fish, and pretty much engage in any kind of fishing they can find.  


Many summer weekends Mickey would take the five oldest kids fishing........some winter weekends too.   


When Mickey and the kids would return home from their day of fishing,  I would hear stories that were fun and entertaining most of the time but on occasion there were stories that I found horrifying.  


The following is just one of those stories....


The five oldest kids and Mickey decided to go ice fishing one winter morning.  I personally don't understand it.  Can you imagine dragging five kids out in the freezing cold to go drill a hole in some ice, put a line into that hole and stand around this 4 inch hole waiting for something to bite on your line.  After standing there for about ten minutes, you can bank on the fact that one of those 5 kids will start freezing and then  the whining will start and then someone will get hungry and eventually they will all have to go potty. 


I think Mickey has the special ability to ignore all of that.   


While they were all out there on the ice waiting to catch a fish, apparently Whitey and Rocky got bored.  Shocker!  So the boys decided to perk things up a bit and they drilled a hole into the ice, away from where Mickey was fishing. They drilled this hole just big enough for someone to step into it with one foot and fall into the water up to their hip. 

Whitey and Rocky going fishing....

They then carefully covered the hole with snow so the poor, unsuspecting victim would not see it and they would fall in.  


The boys finished their project and found their victim.  Sid and Jensine were playing nicely over on the snow when the boys decided to call Jensine (who was about 6 at the time) over to where they were standing.  


Whitey and Rocky moved a few feet from their special ice hole and hollered back at Jensine.  It went something like this:


Boys: Hey Jensine come over here for a minute
Jensine: Why?
Boys: Because we want you to
Jensine: Ok (she started walking towards them)
Boys: Walk a little bit that way (as they pointed towards their left)
Jensine: Ok
Boys: Now a little bit that way (as they point towards their right)
Jensine:Ok (I'm wondering if Jensine is at all curious as to why they have a path all laid out for her.)
Boys: Now just straight


Jensine tromped along like a nice, trusting sister as they guided her right towards their target spot on the ice.


As Jensine got closer they yelled for her to keep on coming.  The boys started to get excited about her forthcoming doom.


Jensine walked towards the boys as they guided her right into their evil ice hole.   One minute you see Jensine and the next you see her torso with one leg into the hole up to her hip and the other at right angles to her body. 


Not sure what the boys plans were after this.

They were however, in hysterics and jumping up and down, loving that they were so clever.


Jensine started to howl immediately. Sid started pulling at her arms, trying to free her from the freezing water and eventual hypothermia.  Mickey went over drug her out of the ice hole and asked the boys what they were thinking. They apparently weren't so Mickey ordered them to take off their dry pants and socks and shoes and give them to Jensine.  They then had the option of putting on Jensine's wet and too small pants and shoes or going naked.  


I have two questions that I never asked.  1) What determined which boy had to take off his pants? 2) Which boy took off his shoes and socks? 3) Did they each take off one sock and one shoe and hop around the ice? And lastly HOW MUCH LONGER DID THEY STAY LOOKING AT THAT ICE HOLE WAITING FOR A FISH TO BITE WHILE SOME OF THE KIDS STOOD AROUND HALF NAKED?


My guess is the rest of the day.


By the way Jensine still likes to go fishing.  Go figure.

The Dreaded Sea Tick

Every year for over 20 years my family took a trip down to New Port beach thanks to my grandma Verna. 


This trip was our favorite trip of the year.  Most of our time was spent out on the beach watching the kids play the waves.  My kids loved to go boogie boarding.  They would spend most of the day doing this.  


A boogie board looks like this.............

It's made out of foam type material and you lay on it to ride the waves.

After riding waves on a boogie board all day long, as you can well imagine, you tend to develop a small issue with chafing.  Between the sand, salt water and tender parts,  the person riding the boogie board all day gets nipple and belly chafage.


I would hear complaints from my boys about their chafing issues. Now there are several remedies to help the chafing.  It's just that most of them really don't work.


Whitey tried sea weed once ..............

(or perhaps he just wanted to see what it was like to wear a bikini.)

Sometimes you'd see a family member with band aids placed strategically on chafed areas.  Sometimes, when there was no solution to the problem, the kids would just compare the severity of chafing............

My two sons and nephew comparing nippage chafing

One day my young son Whitey came in from the beach and he and his brother Rocky were very concerned.  Whitey said he had a dark spot by his belly button that was hurting and he wanted to know what it was.  

Now I'm not without my petty tortures.  I know Mickey Sr. is usually the guy for the job but I like to have my fun now and then.  Mickey will usually join in the fun if I start it.  Anyway, I knew that from the time Whitey was tiny that he had a small dark mole right by his navel.  I thought that he would have noticed that mole by now but apparently not so I just put two and two together.  Chafing + dark mole=sea tick.  

My next thought was, "This is going to be good."  

I inspected his mole closely while he and Rocky waited patiently for my diagnosis.  I made a lot of  uhh uh, hum, wow, I can't believe this, sounds.  

After a few tense moments I said, "Boy, I haven't seen this in a long time. In fact I don't know if I've ever seen this before but I can't believe this."  Whitey and Rocky's eyes got big as pies and in unison they said, "What?  What is it?"

In a very matter of fact way and almost sounding like the Dr., I pronounced my diagnosis........."Whitey, you have a sea tick."

Rocky started jumping up and down with excitement and Whitey looked a tich panicked but ready to deal with the treatment.  

Whitey then asked me, "What will it do to me."

I told him nothing if we removed it quickly but that sea ticks are dangerous when left in the skin.

At this point I was still wondering how in the world does this kid not know that that's his mole that he's been looking at for years?"  

This was almost too good to be true.  Whitey then said, "So how do I get it out?"  

Well, that was obvious to me......."You have to remove it just the same as you would a regular tick...........by holding a match to it."

By now Rocky was in full jumping, laughing and wincing mode.  

Next thing I heard was Mickey in the background saying, "Shari, let me handle this one.  Whitey I'll get it out right now."

Of course Mickey jumped in when it was time for the real fun.  He ran and grabbed some matches and had everyone gather round.  

Then Mickey said, "Ok Whitey, are you ready?  I'll just light this match and hold it to the tick and then it will get so hot it will back right out of your skin and you're good to go."

Whitey moaned, grunted and said, "Ready."  

Mickey lit the match.  I was thinking, how far do we go?  (now that's a scary thought coming from a parent)

Mickey held the lit match to the sea tick and before it started to burn Whitey's mole I stopped the fun.  I proceeded to try to tell Whitey the truth.  The laughter was killing me and I was still wondering how he didn't recognize his own mole.  

Ahh good times.

Wow I miss the beach!

Kindergarten and Brain Recesses

Tyler in kindergarten

When Tyler was in kindergarten he was quite the character and by the end of his kindergarten school year I knew every person on the school staff by first name and they all knew mine and especially Tyler's.  




It all started with a phone call I received one morning from one of the school secretaries informing me that school had been in session for a whole month and Tyler had yet to be on time.  The teacher was very concerned and so was the principal.  


I told her that was impossible since I drove him everyday and I dropped him off in the kindergarten drop off area.  I personally watched him walk around the corner to where the kindergarten doors were and from there I assumed he "entered" the kindergarten doors and began his day.  I told her that I knew he was being dropped off within 5 or 10 minutes of school start time.  


She said that he was always about a half hour late.  So I replied with the ever so brilliant question of, "Well when does school start for the kindergarteners?"  Ty was in afternoon kindergarten and I was told it started at 12:30.  Sure enough the secretary told me that afternoon kindergarten started at 12:30.  


I told her I dropped him off at about 12:20 sharp but that I would talk to Ty and find out where the problem was.  I was pretty sure that Tyler was not the kind of kid that could just sit in a classroom and be on time but remain unnoticed.  If anyone knows Ty you know that he talks to everyone he comes in contact with.  I promise a teacher would always know when Tyler entered the building.


After hanging up with the secretary I sat Tyler down and began my discussion.  


It went something like this:


Me: Tyler, so the secretary of your school called.


Ty: Oh? Pam called?  (Tyler is always on a first name basis with school staff)


Me: Yes.  Anyway, she said you are about a half hour late to school every day.                                       That is really late.  How long does it take you to walk in the door and into your class?


Ty: Shrug


Me: So Ty are you late?


Ty: Shrug


Me: Ty when you walk into your classroom are the kids all there?


Ty: Yes.


Me: Well what are they doing?


Ty: School stuff.


Me: Have they done the Pledge of Allegiance?


Ty: Shrug

Me: Did you notice that you were late?


Ty: No.


Me: Ty, after I drop you off and you walk around the corner, do you go into the kindergarten doors and go to class right away?


Ty: No.


Me: WHY?


Ty: Cause I like to take recess first and then I go to school. 


OK. So mystery solved.  Ty chose to take recess first with the first graders.  Really, when you think about it, it's genius! 


So I had a little chat with Ty and pointed out that he didn't get to pick his recesses but that he could only go to recess when the teacher said he could. 


I called the secretary and explained the situation and just asked her if she would let me know if Tyler was late in the future.


I noticed that throughout Tyler's school years he continued to take recess frequently during the day only it was a little recess, here and there, in his mind.  He took these recesses until the day he graduated.  I do have proof he graduated.....recesses and all.  Oh I was so proud and relieved that day!




Exactly just what Tyler did during those special kindergarten recesses is a whole nother blog.


I'm off now to go take a recess of my own.  

Training Bra Help Needed on Isle 9

You know there are actually times when I feel bad for my children.  This does not happen often but it has happened before.  

My husband Mickey had children so he would have someone to tease.  Not one of my children have escaped his small and sometimes rather large tortures.  Today one such event came to mind and I decided the truth needs to be told. 

A few years ago Mickey and I decided to go shopping at a local store that is one of those stores that has food, as well as, other goods such as clothing, housewares, and odds and ends.  We loaded up the three youngest kids and a couple of the older ones.  One of the older kids that decided to come with us that day was our daughter Sid.  She thought it sounded fun.  Little did she know.

While we were shopping Mickey and I wandered over to the clothing area of the store with the children in tow.  Sid was about 14 at the time and in Junior high.  

As you all know, this is an age when kids are trying to establish some self confidence.  In our family this is the age when you have the perfect opportunity to embarrass your kids and it's not even that difficult. 

Mickey never misses a good opportunity to embarrass someone.  Remember this when you are in his company.

Anyway, while browsing in the clothing department we just happened upon the women's underwear section and in particular the bra section.  As we moved through the underwear section I glanced at Mickey and saw a familiar look on his face.  It's what I would call a stinky grin.  Right in the middle of the bra section was a counter with the register and a microphone behind the counter that employees...let me repeat....employees use to make announcements over the PA.  Don't mind that Mickey spied the microphone and immediately went behind the counter to pick it up and make an announcement.  


Poor unsuspecting Sid was just following the family through the underwears and bras when she saw her dad pick up the microphone from behind the counter and in horror heard the following over the PA, "Can I please get some help finding a training bra for my daughter, Sid Taylor, in isle 9?"

Visual Aid of the post 

Sid launched herself behind the counter and charged at Mickey like a buzz saw.  Mickey, being only 6 inches taller than Sid and weighing 100 pounds more than my 14 year old daughter, ran from her and almost into a post.


Now let me explain this post.  I'm not exactly sure what the post was for or why it was placed in Mickey's escape route but it was about 12 feet tall  and about the size of a tether ball post and it had a wooden platform that it was screwed into.  The platform was about a 12 inch square and was not attached to anything but rather just sitting on the floor.


Well, as Mickey ran he barely saw the post in time and put his arms out to avoid running into it.  Instead he just grabbed the post and pushed it forward thus raising one side of the platform a few inches off of the ground.

More visual aid

With his catlike reflexes and while in flight from Sid he stepped down on the platform with his foot which in turn pulled the post towards his face as it snapped back into place.  


As the post righted itself it smacked Mickey right behind the ear hole producing a golf ball sized bump.  

The last visual aid

Aahhhh............It was a thing of beauty.  I guess the only thing I could say is "What goes around, comes around to hit you in the hear hole."


Sid felt a lot better after seeing the rather large goose egg form behind his ear.


I stood there with the other kids and enjoyed the whole event.  


Sid never did get her training bra assistance that day.