Valentines Analysis

Valentines was just yesterday and I wanted to blog about this special lovers day but found myself just being fascinated by this holiday (if in fact it really is a holiday).  

Think about it.......somebody made up a holiday about a fat, naked guy going around shooting people with a bow and arrow.   The person that's shot is supposed to fall in love?  I'm thinking, wow, that's a stretch.

Since none of that makes sense to me I suggest that we could go with the theory that greeting card companies, candy companies and flower shops needed a holiday to sell more of their wares.  I don't like this theory because it seems so cynical so I think I will make up my own reason as to why we celebrate Valentines.   

I have come to the conclusion that men love Valentines Day because they think they get more action and women like it because they like getting flowers and candy and cards with loving and romantical sentiments written on them.  I personally like it for the food.  I am not sa romantic and years ago taught my husband that he can replace the cards, flowers and candy for money.  I go for the cash every time.  I will also accept gift cards and going out to lunch or dinner as a gift too.  

In my final stages of Valentine analysis I decided to go through my many pictures and see if I could find a romantic, valentines type photo of Mickey and I and I will tell you that I found 1 picture in the 13,785 pictures I own.  

I am posting it because it is perfect for me to analyze on this very blog. Here she is:

Now I realize that you are all saying to yourself... "Wow!  Where do we begin?"   Let me help you out and start with the most obvious.  This photo screams at me "shutty your mouths please".  If you ask me what we were thinking the answer would have to be we weren't.  This photo is from 1989 at our wedding. 

 Let me also say that between the two of us we had five kids and the oldest was six.  This is who we brought to the party that day and when I look at our kissing photo I'm thinking "enough already". 

Then we added these three to the mix.

So now back to the lovers picture.  I will repost it here so we can do some more analyzing.

Wow again.

There are just so many things here to discuss.  My next thought would be Why would we kiss like that in front of our five kids, photographer and most importantly in front of our entire family? Is Mickey trying to devour me in front of all of these people? I don't have an answer to that one.  I'm hoping that we were both talking up close and the photographer just happened to snap the picture so it looks like.....oh whatever.

Next, Mickey's hair is so dark and fabulous but hi, welcome to the 80's.  It looks like I have a rather large rodent nesting in my locks.  Not sure what happened there but I will go with the excuse that I didn't have time for much hair care with the five kids.  

Next, if you look closely you will see that my eyes are closed (which is entirely normal for these types of kisses) but what is Mickey looking at?  He's got his eyes open a crack and is staring at something.  I know he's not staring at my cleavage because of our next point of analysis......

Check out my collar!  This beautiful wedding dress is 3/4 collar.  Does this accentuate my boosies or just draw the eye upward towards the rodent nest in my hair?  Not sure.

Why is my wedding dress red?  Did I choose this because I felt like a harlot at my second wedding.  Yes, Mickey and I had both been married before.  (See previous five children picture).

Mickey's body language is telling me something.  He's leaning away and grabbing onto the wall while I'm hanging on his tie.  Why?  Perhaps deep down he was running from his fear of five children and a new wife who subconsciously feels like a harlot or perhaps it was simply fear of my open mouth.

Enough said about this photo.  

I'm off now to go to my annual Valentines lunch and see if there is cash involved.