Holiday Headspin Number One

The holidays bring out the best and worst in people.  In one of my previous blogs I confessed to a holiday moment that was what I call a "Holiday Head Spinner."  These moments are the times during the holidays when our limits are pushed just too far and when we mentally SNAP.  This produces a physical phenomenon that causes the noggin to spin 360 degrees much like the girl in the  Exorcist. 

From now until the holidays are over, I plan to blog about each holiday headspinner I experience. I will promise that each spin is justified and that there can be many of these occurrences during the holidays.  Try not to judge me too harshly.  I've had 50 Christmas Holidays and many of them have been spent with eight kids and a whole bunch of relatives that can go a bit "south pole angry elf"  during the holidays.

Today marks day number one of the "headspinners."  I spent the morning running typical holiday errands.  When I returned home that afternoon I was a bit tired and had definitely had enough of people and traffic. 

I walked into home sweet home, glad to have finished my errands for the day and looking forward to staying at home to finish up laundry and other daily household chores.  

As I was putting my groceries away I noticed a feeling of annoyance creep into my being each time I tripped over my teenage son's shoes which were sitting in the middle of the floor in the kitchen.  These shoes were the same shoes that had been kicked from corner to corner for the past 3 days.   

I picked up the shoes and walked to his room where I usually just open the door and fling things in.  I opened then door and noticed a strange light (or rather lack of light) in his room.  He has blinds on his windows that he keeps closed at all times so his room is ready for sleeping in or nap taking should the need arise.  He's 17 and he's good at it.

This was a different light than just having the blinds closed, though.  It was darker.  I peered at the windows wondering and flipped on the light.  There hanging over all four windows were the blankets the family uses when watching movies etc.   (I keep the house at a brisk 61 degrees at all times.  This is a whole other blog topic.) 

The first thing that went through my mind was why does he need blankets on the windows when there are already blinds he can close and second, does he honestly think that those blankets are going to hang there while others freeze when they are sitting on the couches being couch potatoes. 

I was getting angry that he took those much needed blankets all for himself.  I mean it wasn't like he took one blanket for his man cave but it was four.  

At this point my noggin was still in tact. 

I, of course, went to the windows and was proceeding to take the blankets down when I noticed that they weren't just hanging there magically but had been nailed to the walls.  Each corner was NAILED.  ALL FOUR BLANKETS WERE NAILED. 

Oh no!  That's not the end........no head spinning yet! 

My melon didn't turn into a human top until I finally noticed that these blankets were nailed at each and every corner and that all 16 nails were "10 penny" nails!  For those of you who don't know what ten penny nails are......they are the gianormous nails used to build a house!.  You can frame with these nails!  Put on a new roof with these nails!  Hang beams with these nails!   Whole entire buildings are held together for decades with these nails!  Of course, hanging a 10 ounce blanket would require these nails, wouldn't it?  

My anger went from the pit of my stomach, out my mouth, nose and ears in the form of rude words and steam.  

As I started to pull out these nails with my bare hands I realized that this cannot be done.  The nails were too big.  I got my hammer and started to pull  the nails out of the wall.  When I saw the damage left behind I felt some rotation starting in my melon.  As each nail came out of the wall so did a chunk of plaster the size of a tennis ball and a hole deep enough to rewire the house. 
I'm not even going to mention the holes left in the blankets in all FOUR corners.

I'm certain this is the point where I achieved full cranium 360 degree rotation.

All I can say is that it was a good thing my young son was not in the building.

I finished pulling out all SIXTEEN nails, called his phone and left a scathing voice mail wherein, I'm pretty sure I uttered the words "sleep somewhere else" and "ass'.

I put on my coat and gloves, leashed up the dogs and walked for a solid hour, planning the entire time the route I needed to take in order to return all of his Christmas presents.

When I returned, I could tell by the horrified look on his face that he knew he had caused the first "Holiday Headspin of 2010".  As I walked through the door I noticed that he had an i pod player sitting on the kitchen table, ready to turn on the very moment my carcass crossed the threshold.  He cranked that bad boy on full blast and it started blaring the song............"Don't worry.  Be Happy."

He then asked me if I wanted to dance. 

I am currently sitting in my bedroom typing this blog.  My bedroom doors are bolted shut and I am wearing a neck brace to prevent further head rotation.  

Stay tuned for "Holiday Headspin Number Two".